Sunday, January 15, 2017

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

This single human being brought us passive resistance and nonviolent communication.

I will eternally look up to him and hope to become even a quarter of the spirit of this man.

Please watch his last speech HERE
  "So I'm happy tonight, I'm not worried about anything, I'm not fearing any man!" 

Extremely inspirational, courageous and powerful.

May more of us not follow in his footsteps, but take what he taught us and go that much further.

God Bless you, Martin.

Photo © and courtesy of CNN, IU, Reg Lancaster, Flip Schulke

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

The End … Of The Beginning.


“… and then I stumbled into this strange hour. Winter’s fierce breath blushing my cheeks with drifts of waterfalls, white.

The sky, she cried thunder, birthing a new world. With each screech of wind, I witnessed flurries of souls escaping this plane, one by one. Thrown backwards, deafened by the sound, my sternum caved inwards, an acute gunshot swift to my cardiac plexus, Mercury falling…”

Today, I awake with immense recognition of self and everything around, above, beneath, beside, and within me. Angelic artists kindly lifted their wings, slight, brushes delicate, dipping fine threads of horse-hairs into oils and acrylics.

Colors I have never viewed with these eyes, human, and painted each lobe of my brain with alchemy.

Today, I am more aware than I have ever been. I awake with a renewed sense of existence, yet there is heaviness in my heart, for in this slightly inhuman recognition there comes a leaden sort of responsibility.

It does not sweep upon me as loneliness of spirit, or self, but a general comprehension of how absolutely integral every single soul is here, on Earth.

I choose my words carefully out of respect for the seed planted within me before birth. My actions are intense and directed, yet intuitive. I am a Great Spotted Owl perched upon a new dawn, pregnant, dragging herself across the skyline. The scent of prey nearby, I sit and wait.

When the darkness of sweet eve lifts her velvet veil, I feed on the delicate intricacy of this utterly indescribable role as a spiritual being, wide-awake and listening. Every sound, an explosion. Every sight, paradise. Every thought, an equation, and every beat of my heart, fully, oh-so-purely and effortlessly, human.
I wish to be among the clouds, the wind upon my face, I am a conduit, my palms raised in supplication and gratefulness, simultaneous. I understand, and in understanding there is weight. A most divine weight.

Understanding is not difficult, being human is hard.

In my solitude, I am not alone. My thoughts are spectrums, no words but images at the speed of light zinging through galaxies of neurotransmitters like raindrops that fall from the eye of heaven. Each drop stampedes through my head like thoroughbreds.

I hear their hooves clamping down upon my nerve endings, causing pain in my right lobe and cervical spine.
I meditate here, now, and ask the Universe to give to me what is truly in my heart. Those who understand gift me, and I, myself, am gifted in knowing. Yet I wish to concede and sleep. A slumber of all slumbers. One of princesses and kings.

The drone of an airplane overhead yanks me, disturbingly, out of my reverie. The utter peace of simply being. A place where my diaphragm is fully relaxed, each chakra apparent in my line of sight, and the gardens blooming within me are majestic centers of energy, flowing and giving, receiving and attuning, constantly.

I stand naked, bearing nothing but self, and offer my feeble human soul to the season. Faced against the harsh wind, I am so utterly alive. Nature soothes me within her embraces, ever changing, ever growing. This is home, here with her, and I look behind me and am trapped between two worlds.

The one before me, brazen natural landscapes, and the one behind me, the shelter from whence I came.

I hesitate, one foot outside and one indoors, and drop to the ground in solemn gratitude writhing in agony. My legs, splayed to the heavens, a midwife at my feet. Oh, it was time, and I secretly swore to Eve for the curse of the pain I now felt. With each rush of fire beneath, my back arched and I screeched.

Tears ran down each side of my face, melting the snow, pristine, beneath me.

I swore to the sky with each gasp of breath and wave of anguish, and pushed forth from me everything that lies beneath the ground and flies within the sky. I pushed forth the stars and with it, the moon. When I screamed, I was heard on high and angels joined me in choir.

A Song of Life

And when I had expelled all of my prejudices, my disdain and my failures, I then sat up and heaved forth every needle pinch to skin and each bleed of my heart. When I opened my mouth, with head held back, as that of a woman, crazed, I wailed and then let out my breath and fell back, destroyed.

My heart sang as a lute, carried upon the breeze and I slept, as that of a woman, content.

Monday, December 5, 2016

I Am

                                              On Mogul

cannot be
or left -

I am
the fairy tailed children
asleep beneath blankets
on a cool summers eve,
books in palms,
eyes shut tight,
warding off monsters
in closets
underneath the bed.

I am the angelic presence in dreams,
the dark rising depths
in the time between
night and day.

I am
the bleeding hearts
of artists,
music flowing
like manes of thoroughbreds,
strings and violins
concertos and preludes,
the rise and fall
of notes,
the voice of the oppressed
painting alone,
writing alone,
speaking to the masses
standing in front of
in galleries
half numb
from having their soul
placed on a
public platter
picked apart
and critiqued.

I am
the constellations
the ancient raiment
of the majestic
velvet night
coaxing solitude,
rendering you
with desire -

and the great Gods
contemplating existence
tossing magic
and medicine
- electrified -
towards Earth
teaching lessons
        to the mere human soul.        

I am Woman
Sister -

I am a lover
loving - 

I am the volcanic
of every tired soul
and every smile
and tear - 

I am an argument
and agreement
the birds that berth
in your
crown chakra,
their song
is mine - 

all creatures
earth, dirt, silt,
gems, stones,
twigs and trees - 

every root and crevice,
all footholds and paths,
the falling leaves
- kamikaze -
every rock and shell,
the waves and oceans,
all bodies of water,
feathers, flight,
the bees that buzz
around the new bud,
the hand that guides a sprout
from seed,
the secrets the wind
the fierce embrace
of winter,
the warmth upon
your face,
and the sweet cool
calming waters
of life - 

I am death

I am


I am every element,
all emotions,
every fable told
by firelight,
every word
and sighed - 

the true Goddess,
the wild soul - 

I am that which cannot
be kept
nor set free. 

I exist
without logic,
in rational conscious
in esoteric

I am the rich man
and beggar,
the king and the jester - 

I am the grass,
all species,
and the sky,
of spectrums - 

I am good
sentience - 

I am a conundrum
unto myself,
a human shell
as pure

I am heaven
and hell. 

I am the destroyer
and creator


© Susan Marie  

Artwork © Daphne and Apollo by Beatriz Martin Vidal

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Be Human

© Mogul 

The last year has been trying.  After all, I am only human.  

Only human.  Now there is an interesting definition. 

Being "human" [according to Merriam-Webster] means "a human being, a person as distinguished from an animal or an alien.  Susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature."  

In our world, being "human" has taken on an entirely different meaning. 

All ranges of emotion from love to happiness to sadness to frustration to anger to darkness to bliss are experienced by humans. Somewhere along the lines, the term "human" has been associated with being "perfect."   

Perfect attitude, hair, skin, nails, clothes, body, education, family, career, skills, life, travel, adventure, love, and pretty much everything that most humans definitely are not. 

Many times in life we over think.  Our minds are powerful tools, ones we have yet to fully study and understand. Some days you may feel perfectly in tune with all of your choices and surroundings only to be feeling outcast, outspoken, rude, pitiful and eventually, self-deprecating.  

I know I am not the only one who goes through this. If you don't, then you are lying, or quite possibly, not "human." 

Although such phases do not last long, for me, thankfully, they are unsettling because when you over think, you disallow your instinct to be in control, you tend to become off balance that spirals your rational thought along with your own energy, into massive loops of confusion.  

You may not be confusing to others, or maybe you are, I can only speak for myself, however, the most important aspect of being off balance is in regards to how you feel about yourself. 

I found myself reacting to things I normally ignore and getting upset over menial things.  This is typically not the "me" of today so I began to search: 

Why do I feel this way? What caused me to start thinking like this? Why am I feeling out of control?

Ask yourself, you have all of your answers. 

The beautiful aspect of existence and having people put by us for various reasons is that during such times, often without saying a word, some without ever meeting me, sensed that something clearly was "not right" simply by reading deeper into my words, my energy, my response and my actions. Several people took the time to find out why I did not feel okay. 

As human beings we all wish to be acknowledged, loved and recognized and that is not an egotistical thing, it is a basic need.  These extremely special people did just that. They acknowledged my emotions, what I was feeling, and allowed me to talk through them in order for me, not them, to figure out why I was feeling out of balance. 

Rational and healthy communication is crucial. 

It absolutely infuriates me [there I go being "human" again] when there is improper communication because this starts a chain reaction of misunderstanding that leads to "what if" negative self talk and thinking. In turn, eventually, a guilt ridden, self-loathing [for those of us who are "human'] after effect.  This is absolutely foolish when you think about it. 

[Think for a moment, really, this is not meant to be deep.]

What I learned from being allowed to be myself without judgment is that I needed to look inside of me and not blame another person for the way I were feeling.  After all, it is my own fault for feeling as I do no matter what another said to me, how one treated me, or the actions of another human being towards me.   

I am in control of myself and am responsible and accountable for my behavior. 

I asked myself: 

Why do you feel this way? What caused you to start thinking like this? Why do you feel out of control? 

And guess what?  I answered me. 

Yet, without the guidance of those who are reading this and reached out in various ways to acknowledge me, as a fellow human being, I may not have arrived quickly to a conclusion. I may have ridiculously crucified myself a few more days for no apparent reason other than I chose to.

Something amazing occurred after talking with others. 

Sitting on my couch watching a movie with my son, William, he is 17 years old, I looked at him, I mean I really looked at who he is and I asked him to please give me a hug.  The smile on his face was so wide that I began to smile too.  He gladly and lovingly hugged me with all of his might and we did not let go, not just yet.  I told him that without him in my life that my life would be horrible and I mean that, wholeheartedly. 

Hugging my son was touching the divine. 

You see, children are insightful and full of unconditional love that we tend to lose as we grow older.  In my child, I felt bright, magnificent light that illuminated me, and I wondered did he also feel that from me? 

At that moment, I realized my entire purpose, regardless of what interests me, what my career is or is not, and who is or is not in my life. 

What mattered and does matter was right there with my son. In seconds, every single confusing thought disappeared. 

That is the beauty of love.  The divine essence of existence. 

The fact that we are placed here for various reasons and most times, they are quite simple. We make them complicated. 

I realized how blessed I were then, although I have always been aware, yet sometimes we forget in the busy-ness of life. 

Then everything around me was a gift, the sunshine, nature, my home, my work, my friends, my family, the fact that my limbs work and that I have the means to utilize technology to talk to all of you right now. 

For today [and every day] I suggest something extremely simple.  

Do this right now. Look around you and find your divine. It exists. 

You just may have your eyes closed at the moment. 

So, take the time to work through whatever you are dealing with, just don't stay there. 

And always, be human. 

© Susan Marie Hard Rock Cafe, Niagara Falls, NY, USA