a bullet forced
by physics
through a barrel
thin
as the membranes
that separate
my temporal lobes
as they bulge
outward
waiting to explode
volcanic
thunder
like Mt St Helen
Vesuvius
a most fiery explosion
unrequited
Dear Lord,
my hands are lined
palms
rusted with blood
not my own
but the souls of others
and I have risen them
upward
towards you
in supplication
yet now, I wish to rest
knowing
that the world is on fire
like my brain
slowly, melting
bear my melodies and songs
they are my cries
disguised as madness
as angels in choir
do you hear my voice?
it whispers secrets
of those before me
a most heartsick feeling
and my spirit is reeling
from simply
existing
where I
do
not
belong
and in the middle I stand
on tiptoes
as a child
trying my best
to peek over the ledge
without
falling
and my neck cranes
to the farthest borders
to the great continents
and I have sunk my teeth
much too deep
into the skin of humanity
and I bite
yet am starved
standing at the abyss
needing your hand
and the tip of the wing
of an angel
Questions written by Celia White, answered by me below, take a shot at it yourself, it is extremely enlightening and healing: * What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2013? (What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and
strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did
you make? What are you proud of?)
-- Strength,
I moved twice, got a very good job, focused so much more on my own
writing, my son graduated with honors and scholarships from 8th grade,
now at Timon. * What is there to grieve about? (What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?)
-- I have had to lose and am losing people I love dearly because that is life.
* What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
-- Usui Reiki Master Teacher Practitioner.
* What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
-- Taught creative writing workshops globally.
* Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
-- I do not make resolutions. * Did anyone close to you give birth? --Yes. * Did anyone close to you die? --Yes. * What countries did you visit? --None, physically. * What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? --Tolerance * What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? --June - November -> Bliss * What was your biggest achievement of the year? --Not completely losing my mind * What was your biggest failure? --Giving into anger
* Did you suffer illness or injury? -- Yes, two serious car accidents * What was the best thing you bought? -- A new Jeep. * Whose behavior merited celebration? --My son, William. * Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? --Most of society everywhere, as a whole. * Where did most of your money go?
--Bills. * What did you get really, really, really excited about? --My son's achievements, getting paid for my writing, successes of my dear friends, a new dog for my Mother, a new home, new car. * What song will always remind you of 2013?
--Kingdom Come by The Civil Wars, below:
* Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
--Richer, no doubt and I don't mean just money. * What do you wish you’d done more of? --Laughed. * What do you wish you’d done less of? --Cried. * Who did you love in 2013? -A Lady never tells *smile* * What was your favorite TV program? --Game of Thrones. * Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? --No. * What was the best book you read? --Road To Mecca * What was your greatest musical discovery?
--My son's ipod * What did you want and get?
--Peace of mind, security. * What did you want and not get? --Superman *grin* * What was your favorite film of this year? --The Perks Of Being A Wallflower * What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
-- __ and I have no idea. * What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
--Superman *grin* * How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
--1970-ish * What kept you sane? --My Son, My Mother, A.B. * Who did you miss? --My Father, immensely. * Who was the best new person you met? --R.P., B.B. * Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013. --That I know nothing. * Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
--"Don't You Fret My Dear, It'll All Be Over Soon and I'll Be Waiting Here, For You."
* It is a great big world out there people!
Go exploring . . . and thank you Celia for the prompt!
"Madinah Sunset" by Qalb Par Nazar i wish upon embers
falling from my eyes
not tears
but starshine
blazing and glorious
like the sunset over Makkah i wish i can take flight
like Iqbal's eagle
soaring and endless
searching for its place
insane
yet, oh so divine and i wish that my gaze
may one day fall
upon the both of you
smiling at me as Muhammad must have smiled
at Khadija
a love so rare not quite romantic
unconditional as the love i have for you simultaneous like blood brothers mine eternal. - Susan Marie 2013
