Listen here: https://soundcloud.com/susan-marie/new-recording-2
what were you thinking
motionless,
your last
breath
coming
soon,
like the ebb and flow
of the tide
and you, lying there
the only thing keeping you
here, with us,
for now,
your breath -
do you remember when I leaned over
whispered in your ear
oh, so softly,
to let go
that it's okay
what were you thinking
in the bed
wide eyed
staring at me
like you didn't know
did you -
that this would be it
that you were dying
that the words i whispered in your ear
were to be the last
on this earth
a single tear, i saw
rolled, ever so slowly,
out of the corner
of your left eye,
down your cheek
onto the pillow
and it spoke volumes
you were unable to
i think then you realized
this wasn't just another visit
i think then you knew
you knew -
did you know though
what was coming
did you feel me by your bedside
warming your cold hands
straightening the bed sheets
making sure you were comfortable
did you feel me there
with your eyes closed
breathing,
last breaths,
my hand on your heart
beating ever so fast
until it didn't
my heart broke then
into shards of glass
piercing my insides
for with you
left half of me
and now
i don't know who i am
i hope it was painless
i hope it was serene
i hope you are free
from the shackles of being human
i wanted to grab you out of the bed
and run away from that place
wishing i had powers of the ancients
to bring you back
to change things
to somehow
make you well
wishing anything
but that horrid, black day
burned into my frontal lobes
forever,
blinding my sight,
momentarily
i hope you can see me now
and you are proud
of who i've grown
to become
recalling that day
tears flowing from my eyes
my chest,
tight,
words stuck
in my throat,
struggling to be free,
like a thousand thrushes
trapped -
causing my voice
to crack
and break
under the weight
of the legacy
you left
© Susan Marie 2025
Dedicated to my Mother, Mary Ann
