Saturday, March 1, 2014

and the sky, she cries thunder







i've been thrown away
again


do you realize i told you
this would happen


you smiled and laughed
said there's no possible way
as you stared at me,
staring at you,
lovingly


and you liked that

and i smiled back
knowing the truth
yet to pass


my chest
full
my heart
pounding
trying not to


cry

i smiled

because you needed me to be strong
and i was a pillar
like now
spitting out bits of blood and bone meal marrow
seeping
from the tips of fingers
that writes words
beautiful
like you


but you threw me away
like some second hand thrift shop used shoes
human
being
with
a
heart


and you are not the first
you are one of many


and it has taken me a long time
to accept this absurd existence
i seem to keep choosing for myself


for it is not your fault
nor mine


but you threw me away

Dear God, there must be some greater good
to the muttering thoughts
that do not belong to me
they tell the truth
i push them away
in denial
that i am
thrown
away
again


i kneel under this dank dark grey winter skyline
hovering upon the Eastern shore
palms raised
lined, in supplication

oh, these hands of mine
writing words such as this
to deaf ears
to blind eyes
to uncaring hearts
to the bleeding mouths of those who suffer


but this is not the first time
nor the last


for i rise
like the sun
and rise
like constellations
and rise
like mountains echoing time
after time
that the sky
is
crying
thunder
again


i rise
because
i am love
i rise
because
i am free
i rise
because i am
different


you see
you once saw
like the others

we are
exactly the same
yet different

you see
you do not
see
we are
the same
yet different

because i

have
risen




© Susan Marie

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