Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Conversations With Myself




© Volti



Negative Sue:  You know what? I don't know what to think of people anymore . . .

Positive Sue:  What do you mean? People treat you well.

Negative Sue: No, they don't. I never really feel like people care.

Positive Sue: That is UTTERLY ridiculous, of course they care. You have people that love you.

N: Well this is true, I don't mean all people. I mean some people.

P: Susan Marie, you cannot include "some" people when you state "all" people. That's being conditional.

N: Is it? I think of it as being human. I don't feel conditional. As a matter of fact, I feel severely unconditional. I think I am doing good things and have a good heart. I don't think that's an egotistical thing to say. I am being truthful. If they feel that way, loving, I don't know it or see it.

P: Well, you cannot expect that the whole world is to think and feel as you do!

N: I know, but I mean shouldn't people think good things? I guess to me it is the right way to think - helping people and doing good things and trying to let go of stuff and not be mad and grow and progress. A perfect example of that sentence is this conversation right now. I am talking to you so I can let go of what I am feeling. I don't know even know what I am feeling . . .

P: Yes, you do. Just ask yourself "why am I feeling this way?" You will answer yourself. Being good is the right thing to do. You are not doing anything bad. By the way, you completely bypassed a word I just used:  expect.

N:  I guess so, it's just tiring you know? I mean there are like 10 whole people in the world that I know who are right in the head.
 

P: Are you always right in the head, Sue?

N: Well . . . no . . . alright, fine, whatever. I see where you are going with this . . . you're not going to start telling me the black and white wolf story are you? Or the shadow side?  Please do not go on about the mirror, please . . . I know these things . . .

P: Then why are you talking to me if you know EVERYTHING? You did not ask yourself that question up there?

N: What question?

P: Sue . . .

N: OK, FINE! 


I feel helpless sometimes because I can't do everything and I want to and sometimes I have to depend on people. When people do not come through, then I get angry at myself because if I could do it, I would. When asking others for help, then comes that whole "let down" feeling because if I could do it myself I would not have to be let down by others not doing or thinking as I do.

P: You just nailed it!
 

N: What?

P: You said:  "not doing or thinking as I do."
 

N: Well, I don't mean it like that. I sound like a pompous ass, don't I? I mean in a loving, natural spiritual way, you know?

P: I understand, but you are putting expectations on certain people and that is not reality, that is your perception.
 

N: Ohhh . . . here we go back to that" it is all your own perception" thing with you. Please stop with the psychobabble . . .

P: Well, it's true. If you feel or perceive that you are not being treated as you want and need to be treated and people let you down, then that is your perception, correct?
 

N: Yes, but sometimes people are plain mean . . .

P: Well, think of the other person. They may believe or perceive they are doing good. Others may be utilizing their power and maybe even more to help you and talk to you and do whatever it is they are supposed to be doing in your life.

N: I guess you are right. I mean people are not mind readers.

P: No, they most certainly are not.


N: Well, I communicate extremely well. I mean I do not hide. I know what people want and feel and sometimes when I ask for simple things, some people do not come through. I mean come on, man! That is just plain sad.

P: Do you communicate well to those that you feel are not by your side as you perceive them to be? Okay, but what of all the people that DO come through for you? Do they not matter? You are only going to focus on those that never come through for you? You have to ask yourself why you give energy to such thoughts. You must think of where others are mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Maybe they are not where you are right now.
 

N: This is true, but geeeez, it's getting ridiculous. It's a lonely feeling sometimes to think and feel this way.

P: What way?

N: Super ultra sensitive to everything, that the world is good and kind, that nature matters, that people have extreme power and have no idea that they do, that loving people regardless of their actions towards me is a divine act and not one of want or need.

P: Okay, well, ask to have the sensitivity calmed down. You know how to do this. Again, you are responsible for your own behavior and actions. Think positive. You have much to be grateful for. Love IS a divine act. Love is never wasted. Nature does matter, as do people, as does the world.
 

N: I know I do, I truly do and I am happy and grateful for every single thing. I just wish I did not have to keep letting go of people in my life. You know, I observe people completely lose their minds a lot. I have become used to this. It's truly disturbing.

P: Ah . . . maybe they changed or you changed. It does not mean one has lost their mind. This is the way of life and growth. This is existence and nature. Loving people and places and things and learning to let them go and doing the best you can with what you have and being the best YOU is what truly matters. You are doing fine.
 

N: Yeah, well, sometimes I do not feel fine. Sometimes I feel real angry at the world for everything that goes on.

P: You are not responsible for everything that goes on. You are only responsible for you. Nobody said being human was easy and nobody is perfect. This world will always be full of light and dark. The universe cannot operate without both. All you need to be concerned with is yourself and those that ARE WITH YOU on THIS wavelength RIGHT NOW.
 

N: I know and I do. I have a question.

P: Yes?


N: What is the difference between operating as a loving human being and simply being a turning point in the life of another? Sometimes it feels like the same thing.


P: Have you been reading Kierkegaard again? 


That question is for you to address. If you feel like a turning point, then you are. If you feel loved and cared for, then you are. If you feel something rising up within you like anger or sadness due to the actions of another, you must address that within yourself and not blame or project that onto another individual. I do not mean in an abusive fashion either. One must always stick up for self but try to do that as loving as possible. In all relations, especially with self, one must be happy. Be gentle with yourself. Everything has a purpose and time.

N:  I know. I do address it. I address these things all day. I just wish that people saw like I do because you know the world is really quite a beautiful place through my eyes . . .



5 Websites That Must Be Checked Out




© Susan Marie 

  
Weekly, I promote the lovely, healthy, healing, interesting places I find online, so that you too, can enjoy them as I do. Please see below, share, subscribe, connect and tell others! 


1. Soundcloud - paying for this service yearly is worth it if you are into music, spoken word, sound and radio. I adore soundcloud. I place my radio shows, spoken word poetry and nature sounds here. 

2. Thrive Market - I paid $5 for Nutiva pure virgin coconut oil which usually costs me up to $20 locally and received it at my door in one day. This market has everything holistic and you get a free recipe book with your first order.

3. papercaft miracles - the only place to go for handmade journals, photo albums, hand stitched binding and personalized books, baby albums, wedding invites, paper products and everything under the sun.

4. Blogging for Books - one free print book per month shipped to you if you review it on your/their blog/website, easy and free and another form of creative writing.

5. Spiritual Moment - website and youtube - both sites have various forms of meditative music and sound for reiki, massage, chakras and relaxation. Divine, seriously.


Last weeks websites < please go see them too! 


Relax.
Enjoy.
Grow.
Heal.  
 Share.  
Inspire.
Peace. 


 © Susan Marie 

 

Sunday, November 8, 2015

An Open Letter to Mother Nature


 
 © Susan Marie


Dear Most Holy Mother Nature,

I hope you are having a glorious day. I am writing with hope that you hear me, this one simple soul in vast, endless realms of being.

I admire your strength, beauty, your utmost perseverance. The wonder you provide me daily is ecstatic. I appreciate your waters that surround me, the colors you adorn through Autumn, your bird-songs during Spring and the first pure snowfall in Winter. I must admit, the cold I can do without forever, as well as the mountains of snow that seem to never melt, so please, bear with me, I have a message that has a point.

You see, my head is in a vice. My bones hurt. Lately, I feel like I am suffering from multiple personalty disorder although I am pretty sure I am quite fine, yet the physical ailments are due to your ever changing moods, sporadic and unannounced

I understand you are not fully to blame. This race, the human one, can be quite selfish and must bear witness and be held accountable for your behavior. I know you are more than angry with us all and on my end, I am sorry for the cruel actions of my fellow brothers and sisters in the past and present. 

I have immense trust that the lot of us that champion for change have begun to reverse some of the damage and abuse. I know we cannot replace what has been lost and for that, I am eternally in debt to you.

For now, please decide on the season. Last week it was July, the week before that it was hailing when it rained, the past week was cold then sunny then warm then humid then cloudy then freezing then sunny and today, it feels like April coming into May. 

Please excuse my outright ignorance, but you do realize it is November?

Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint whatsoever. I want you to be fully yourself, majestic and unstoppable and hope that you decide to spare us winter for that would be perfectly fine with me. I can start a petition if you like? I tend to look vampirish for 5-6 months and hibernate so the sun as of late, is utterly pleasant and the high temperatures are quite lovely. 

Thank you for being gentle with us all. You are indeed, at times, an empathetic force.

What I am getting at is for us sensitive souls, the human barometers. Can you please stay one way, if at all possible? I ask you this from the depths of my humble heart because my skull is wishing it were a pumpkin smashed on the late October sidewalks.

I know I am only one human soul and although I can scream loud enough for you to hear, I offer this simple supplication to you to forgive us all for being materialistic and full of ego.

Today, the great eye of heaven is sneaking through my windows.  On my porch, I still have peppers and tomatoes growing. My heating bill is low and I have had no need to don winter clothes. What a blessing! 

If my voice means anything to you, Dear Mother Nature, my utmost wish is that we just skip winter entirely and pretend it is May. That sounds like a plan!

I am grateful for this rare occasion of existing without the usual drastic arctic temperatures and snowdrifts. It is my hope and eternal wish that you are happy and keep smiling as you are. 

My intention is that you decide fully on one emotion and not forty. I understand you, although I have no rational explanation for the female gender myself.

May this reach you in peace and know that I seriously have things to accomplish and I do my best to keep you safe, happy, alive and free.

Sincerely,

Your endless muse,

Susan Marie