Date Club: The Trouble With People #2

If you missed Part I, go -->  HERE 

I managed to land myself into the funny, exciting, confusing, and absolutely creepy world of dating. 

This propelled me to start a short series [writing and radio interviews] about relationships [from all perspectives] because quite frankly, a lot of people seem to be EXTREMELY confused about the differences between dating, relationships, love, like, attraction, friendship, passion, spark, sex, making love, long-term, short-term and just for fun.

After reading numerous articles by so called "relationship gurus" advising men and women to solely act in favor of the other gender or partner, rather than WITH one another or for self, I found such advice not applicable to reality whatsoever. 

Most disturbing is that people pay strict attention to "relationship gurus" as well as pay hard earned money for advice that is as general as horoscopes in the newspaper.

With that being said, I invite you to look through my eyes and experience the world of dating, online and off. 

Come on, I promise it will be more than interesting. Some of this stuff is downright hysterical, some of it is painful truth, a lot of it is purely horrifying, some of it is fun and most of it is 100% absolute nonsense.

Thus, I hereby dub this experience, "Date Club" after one of my favorite movies. 

First rule of date club: 

Do not take anything serious in date club.
 

The first order of business is an online profile.

How hard is it to take a non insane photo of yourself and post it online? 

One would think this is an easy task. 

I have a few DEFINITE PHOTO DONT'S:

- selfies in public toilets or any toilet, anywhere, ever

- on a tractor, with a shotgun, in the wild

- trying to look sexy, ending up with a "serial rapist" look 

- the "I was just released from prison, again" look

- with a bunch of small children = weirdo pedophile 

- with women or men hanging all over you

- with people marked out, whited out, or cut out

- all curled up in bed causing you to look [psychotic?]

- with your head cut off showing ONLY your body 

- you and your friends

- you in a club, wasted, holding up a drink with your friends

- you and your parent!

- naked, walking in fields of wheat 

- just between your legs with women's undies on when you  
  are a male seeking a female

- just your eyes, up close, real close, TOO close 

  [See line #3]

-with sunglasses on [in.every.single.photo]

-dressed like Pirates of the Caribbean [in.every.single photo]  

-just your chest, muscles, torso, breasts, butt, body parts

-ONLY working out 

-doing some Evil Knievel stunt 

-in your work attire 

 [like right before surgery, by trays of sharp instruments] 

-depressed, sad, not smiling [might need psychotherapy]

-with a ton of people [hmm, I wonder which one you are?] 

-with makeup on [blush, eyeliner, the whole nine] when  
 you are a man seeking a woman

-just your tattoos

-on your bike, in your sports car, on your yacht [I get it] 

-dancing, anywhere, especially disco

-drunk, and/or drugged

-teeth would be nice . . . 
-naked torso with a crucifix hanging from your neck  
-with your guitar on your couch [in. every.single.photo] 
-did I mention no Axl Rose or Poison attire? 



Please. Just be you and if that is you, good luck finding the
alternate you . . .

These are just a few and there is, oh, so much more . . . 

I need to talk about user names . . . 

Address what NOT to say on first contact . . .  
The actual date . . .
Phone calls . . .
Texts . . .

Stay tuned for Series #3, "The Trouble With People" with more realistic advice, from direct experience, and live interviews showing the male perspective vs. the female perspective. 

There are awesome people to be found and lasting relations in all kinds of fashions. Thus far, I have had all kinds of experiences and they are way too good to keep to myself. 

In everything, be careful, have fun, be nice and be clear about why you are REALLY seeking out anyone. That is, if you even know why yourself.

Proper communication is the key people! 

First rule of date club: 

Do not take anything serious in date club.

mouths, silenced, stitched, shut [For Peshawar]

Photo © Wall Street Journal/Associated Press

the faces of
children
shame
innocent
children

blood in the streets
of
the faces
of children
muddied
hardened

weeping tears
like willow trees in Spring

mouths
silenced
stitched
shut
like sewing needles
stuck
harshly
into skin, soft
like bullets
flying
a ricochet
hitting
soft
matter

drawing blood
and more blood
and blood of lives
lost

the present
vomited by forefathers
from past
repeated
set to
rewind
constant

Oh, the innocents,
their dear souls wander
lost and weary
beneath starshine
and the world does not weep
mankind does not weep
the children weep
My God
the pooling of the blood
of the hearts
snuffed out
dead
cold
lying like
fish out of
water
eyes bulging
bloated
on fire
ablaze

they watched
as those they loved
were murdered
they stared
as bodies burned
they stood like statues
as they were
questioned
attacked
harassed

the innocents
the children
the nation of children
blown out
like candle wicks

the faces of
children

shame
innocent
children

blood in the streets
of the faces

of children

mouths
silenced
stitched
shut


© Susan Marie

© Hasan Javad Chatha for speaking these words to me:

"Our government is hungry for our blood. Blood of the nation of the children. Shame."

Behavior, Accountability and Social Media [1/2 Hour Radio Interview]

 On CNN International HERE
ON WGRZ CH. 2 News HERE 

Technology is a powerful tool created to utilize proper and quick communication. The history of the internet began in the 1950's with the creation of electronic computers. In the 1990's, there was a rise in computer use due to instant messaging, email, and the World Wide Web.

In our present societies, social media has turned into a "psychological dumping ground" where people often use technology to complain without action.

The internet is a wondrous place where global connections are made, friendships formed and causes are implemented in order to create a better world for all of us.

The internet is also a frightening arena where others use it to abuse, control, rant, and attack individuals who are attempting to connect to the world and each other, on a larger scale.

In this half hour radio interview with Ruthann Amarteifio of Air Amarteifio Radio, we discuss issues such as Ferguson, reactions of people from different classes, accountability for actions, behavior, responsibility, respect, and dignity.

You can listen to the discussion by clicking this link:  "Behavior, Accountability and Social Media"

Social media is used for various purposes. Everyone has a right to be online. Everyone has a right to freedom of speech. This is not about rights. This is about holding oneself accountable for behaviors, actions and words.

We exist in a world of blame. Blaming institutions, government, media, races, ethnicity, cultures, nations, and faiths.

Without action, blaming is nothing more than complaining.

"It is one thing to think a black-hearted thought. It is another thing to speak a black-hearted thought in front of others. It is an entirely different issue when that black -hearted thought is posted online." - Susan Marie

The Trouble With People

Men say women are difficult and vice versa. Truth is, people are difficult. There is no magic "soul mate fairy" that comes riding on a gold stallion with wings to deliver in your lap the perfect person just so you can be happy.

It takes work. It takes two people to constantly give. Each has to work to be good, loving, kind, communicative, supportive, caring people. It takes self-control not to flip out on another when you are angered. It takes self-awareness to recognize what you need to work on inside your own self to be a great partner and it takes self-respect to not allow yourself to be abused.

My point is life is about finding people you can tolerate, and those who can tolerate you. Find people that are different than you are so you learn and grow, as well as those who are the same as you are in order to feel camaraderie, and find people who act out of a place of love and most importantly, self-love.

There is no such thing as perfection in humans. We are fallible creatures. We are made this way for a purpose. We are meant to make mistakes and meant to succeed and learn from both. By doing so, we pass that knowledge on.

Seek the simple. Seek those who view the world with open eyes, past human faults, past innocent ingrained beliefs and ideals, and directly into the soul for that is where breath is and breath sustains life.

I wonder when I will cease seeing into souls and stare at the world with blinders on?

Hopefully, never.

Alas, this is the path of a seeker. It is one filled with immense beauty and insufferable pain.

© Susan Marie